It had been one month since the evening that they had fought. She could still feel the summer breeze as they rocked themselves back and forth. While she wept in his arms, she could hear him whisper that they had to take some time to remember what they meant to each other. She knew he was right, the fighting, the combating; the wicked words that had been exchanged had just been too much. The entire situation was like a volcano ready to blow up. They rocked themselves back and forth and kissed each other on the cheek. Now she was sitting in his car waiting to speak to him.
They dropped their friends, who were completely aware of the situation and had been a constant support to her. She finally sat in the car and began by saying, “I know we ended things in a very abrupt way. We ended with a lot of question marks and no status in regards to our relationship. I just wanted to know where you are and what you are thinking”. He began by talking about what the fight was about. But before the warfare began again, she cut him off and asked him to just answer the question. With a slight nod, he said that he was done and he could not do it anymore. Her heart leapt. She could not make out if it was a sign of relief or anger or sadness. She replied saying she was glad and at least now she could move on.
He asked her if she would like to go for a drive with him. The funny part of this situation was that their relationship as friends/lovers began with a five hour long drive and was about to end with a drive. As she sat there with him, she decided to be the stronger person and tell him how she felt. She spoke about how the last month was hard and in spite of all the fighting she still liked him. They had not gotten to the point where they were able to say that they loved each other. If you asked her now whether she loved him? She would probably reply saying yes but with all the fighting and the stress, the moment never occurred. For a person who never talked about his feelings in a relationship he surprised her by admitting that he still didn’t just like her but liked her a lot and was questioned by his friend as to why he was even breaking up with her then. They both agreed that it was probably better that they ended things now when they could still save their friendship.
As the car zoomed ahead to nowhere, they spoke about all the things they missed in each other’s life in the last one month. It was like two friends catching up and it felt good to finally be able to have a conversation without the two of them getting into a fight. The conversation was so easy that they were even able to talk about how two guys had asked her out the previous week and she said no. There was no tension, no stress, no pain, no crying; the conversation just flowed like a river where rocks were no hindrance.
After a couple hours of driving and meeting some friends on the way, the time had come to part ways. He was leaving to Dubai for ten days, then Goa, then the UK, South Africa and finally back to the UK for one year. This was another reason why they did not find it necessary to complicate matters. He walked her to the door; a cool breeze in the middle of the Indian summer blew in their direction. It reminded her of the hot summer breeze earlier that month when they had decided to go on a break. As they bid goodbye they embraced each other. He held on to her tight. His actions were spoken through words but by her, “I don’t want to let you go”. With that she began to choke up and once again the tears started to well up in her eyes. She consoled herself by saying that she had to be strong. He suddenly looked at her in the eyes and before they knew it they were kissing each other and could not stop. They were kissing each other like there was no tomorrow. It was now or never.
They pulled away for a moment and he looked at her and said “Don’t move on too quickly” to which she replied “I should be telling you that”. He said, “You think I am that much of an asshole, you think I will forget you that easily. You are the one with a waiting list of applicants”. Still wrapped in his arms and with her head to his chest, she lifted her head. Tears now begin to glisten she asked him “Do you think I want to interview any of them?” They both just looked into each other’s eyes and once again broken into another round of kisses that could not be stopped. This time more passionate than the time before, it was more physical, it was almost fanatical. She stopped and told him, “I have broken up with guys because they have done something wrong, guys have broken up with me because I have done something wrong… but this is the first time I have let go of someone knowing that they still like me and I still like them but there s nothing that I can do to save it”. He looked at her and said, “You are a beautiful girl, I don’t want to let you go. You may not believe it but I was always attracted to you. From the first time I saw you till now I still want to rip your clothes a part and be with you.. that will never change” . Those words brought a small smile to her now sobbing eyes. He was a clown, always knew how to make someone laugh. They looked at each other holding each other’s hands and just before he left, she brought him closer and said one last kiss.
When people break up they never realize that the last kiss they had with the person would be the last kiss. However, to kiss a person knowing that you would never feel their lips against yours again, knowing that you will never taste the sweet flavor that you once did, or being aware that the feelings that you were feeling would never come again. The thoughts that cross the mind during the last kiss: the first time you kissed, the way his lips feel, the way his lips taste, how passionate is the kiss, the feeling that you feel in your stomach. And then suddenly you pull away and before you could let the thoughts cloud your mind you leave and don’t look back.
With that ended what in my mind was the perfect break-up, the break-up that would be treasured for many years, a break up which every girl just dreams about. A break up where the guy tells you that you meant something to him and that he didn’t want to let you go. A break up where you talk about everything; how you feel, how you felt when you met, how your life was, how your life was going to be. If you ask her if they would be friends then there is no way to check that except to wait for the next blog. However it is a kiss that will never be forgotten. It is a kiss that will always bring a lump in the person’s throat.
No comments:
Post a Comment